Happiness Mantras

Been very inspired lately by Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project Blog and Toolbox. After a few weeks of overwhelming drama in my life (think sickness, losing a family friend and breakups/breakdowns), I decided I was pretty sick of being miserable. But being sick of being miserable and actually being happy are two very different things. First, I started with a bit of a purge- nothing like cleaning out the old to make room for the new (the bathroom is at least slightly less overrun by expired tylenol tablets and almost empty shampoo bottles from hotels past these days). I also decided that if people in my life are only adding to my stress then I probably need to take a step back. A mini-purge however does not, in and of itself, lead to sustained stability or happiness. On the other hand, it does give one enough of a boost to start contemplating other happy moves. I started forcing myself out of the apartment more (even though spring in NYC has felt much more like winter). After re-engaging with some of the people and things that do calm me down and cheer me up, I had a bit of a revelation. Okay, don't expect any semblance of genius here . . .

The more you have going on in your life, the more opportunities you have for happiness. This is probably a variant on the " busy people are happier" concept. I think this is due to the fact that if you have a lot going on and one part of your life feels lilke it's falling apart, at least you have the hope that another part of your life might give you some feeling of satisfaction/excitement etc. In many ways, I've craved a life where I didn't have to work and could just sleep in, go out when I felt like it etc. Obviously, work can be a major source of frustration sometimes. But in the past few days, work has been at least somewhat of a salvation. 1) It keeps you busy so you don't have time to obsess over the hurt/pain etc. 2) It keeps you surrounded by people even when you want to hide 3) It provides an opportunity to feel useful and 4) You might even get that compliment you've been waiting for on a "job well done." Of course, this doesn't mean that I still won't fantasize about winning the lottery and an early retirement but it gives me some appreciation for the work I have to do anyway. The more you have going on, the more likely it is you'll find a way to snap out of it when something is bringing you down. No one thing is everything and that is a great thing! Even when life is going well, you don't want one main source of happiness because if that falls apart, there's nothing left. So, this leaves me with one of my new happiness mantras: do more, worry less!

My second new mantra is "look good, feel good" or "look the way you want to feel." This is adapted from a popular happiness theory that suggests that you should "act the way you want to feel." As in, if you project happiness, you'll inspire that in people around you which, in turn, will make you happy. But at an even more basic level, I find that dressing a bit better, smiling a bit more, and taking a bit more care of yourself (no sweatpants and hoodies when going to grab groceries- unless they are super CUTE) is enough to jumpstart your happiness too. If you look like crap, it will only make you feel worse. So, taking a few extra minutes in the morning to pick out an outfit might just be the happiness boost you need . Oh yeah, it also doesn't hurt when you get a compliment/comment on your outfit, your new-found calmness, or your extra smiles.